have you ever gone into to somthing knowing that you will break someones heart?
A friend of mine recentyl asked me out, we have been friends for a while and he just asked me. and I was cought off gaurd and said ok. So now we're going out, and I like him and all. but I know that it will fade and I know as soon as I meet some one better I will end it. I feel terrible. but I don't know how to get out of it. Hes very sensitive and it would be really harmful for me to break it now. I don't know what to do I don't want to hurt him. But i know that I'll cheat on him.
to add to such drama, I am developing a crush on another friend and he likes me. also, my other friends boyfriend is in love with me. I don't know why it can't ever be simple, all I want is to love a boy and have him love me to and us be together. not three boys like me, and me only sort of kind of like one of them.
the boy that I kind of like is unstable, and the relashonship would be violite and pasionate, I don't knwo if its worth it. do i forsake passion for stability. I guess its an age old question.
so it's summer............... officially,not quite but essentially it is. We have graduated. I got to thinking during the graduation ceremony and during the slide show and stuff, what have I done with my high school career. I came to the conclusion not all that much, and for some reason I'm ok with that. I'm not sure what I would have done differently, maybe join more clubs and stuff, but other than that I'm really not sure.
Done with art, thank all that is good and holy. That is one thing that I am sure of, I am so happy to be done with art major. More specificly the teacher.
So, it turns out that I will be going to down to Georgia to pin my brother's ranger badge on him, I damn near cried when I found out. But I'm still selling stuff at the festival with sonia.
I am so sun burned, I went to the beach with Clark and Alicia and I look like a lobster on my back. I put on sun screen too. Curse my lack of pigment.
The truth is I've been kind fo sad latley, I need to change my medicine again. It's pouring out so I don't think that helps much. I usually like the rain but today I don't know.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm......................................... Study Hall........................................................
SO how are you all?
I got into Savannah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So I'm flying out there on the twenty fifth.
Then I have to make a decision Chester or Savannah.
Passover tonight, first night, then I get to drive out to my grandmother's to celebrate passover again, And my birthday, And my cousin's birthday. I will be eighteen.
And another reminder! Sonia and I will have a stand at the arts festival selling stuff again! Come buy stuff! Or sell stuff if you have any! We sell jewelry, buttons, boxes, and there will be lemonade!
Anyway! I should do some actual study hall work............................... ugh.......................... but its almost vacation so I probably won't.
so any way, I flunked another spanish test even though I thought I did well on it. oh well...... better luck next time.
I found a poem that bob gave me a long time ago, i re-read it and it made me feel happy. my brother and grandmother are gone, I'll see them again in colorado in a couple weeks. sonia's birthday is soon. we need to get arts festival supplies.
I won an award for writer's world in the arts festival, they won't tell me what i won just that I did. the guy that runs writer's world told me, he didn't judge it so he didn't know what i won, but he got to let me know early. so i'm happy about that.
anyway life is going along just as it normally does, I got an 89 on a math test today which is good, but other than that, the usual highs and lows. this weekend was awesome for the most part. on friday I bought my moms birthday present and went walking with clark, then on saturday I went to acorn to draw with sonia then we went to ac moore to get supplies for the arts festival table we are going to have. then on sunday sonia had a sub-title party! (les choristes what wonderful) which was fun, we had mochie and it was loads of fun. on monday I over slept the parade and baisiclly cleaned, did homework and watched tv the rest of the day. so yeah this week end was pretty good!
my family is throwing a graduation party for my older brother on saturday, you are all invited.